April 22 – 28 is National Infertility Awareness Week. We wanted to recognize those who struggle with infertility and the difficult decisions that infertility can bring. Many couples and singles are unable to carry a child but haven’t given up on growing their family. There are options out there, including adoption and foster care. Another option that may not be as well-known or understood is gestational surrogacy. There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding surrogacy, so we want to try to clear things up a bit. Here are 5 things you (probably) didn’t know about surrogacy. We encourage you to share these with a friend. Knowledge is power, you know.
1. Surrogacy isn’t just for celebrities.
Yes. We all know Kim Kardashian and Kanye West just had their third child via gestational surrogacy due to Kim’s medical issues, and they are thinking about having a fourth child via surrogacy (or so the rumor mill says). There are many other celebrities who have used and are currently using surrogacy to have their bundles of joy. But guess what . . . there are WAY more “regular” people doing it too! If you are unable to carry a child and would like to have a baby who is biologically related to you (or even sometimes not biologically related to you), surrogacy may be an option for you. Find an agency, like New Mexico Surrogacy, that will be with you every step of the journey and set up your free consult today.
2. The baby isn’t biologically related to the surrogate.
Wait . . . what? It’s a common misconception that the surrogate carrying the baby is biologically related to the baby. This is not true with gestational surrogacy. While this is the case with traditional surrogacy (which New Mexico Surrogacy does not do), gestational surrogacy is where the egg of the intended mother (or donor egg) is fertilized with the sperm of the intended father (or donor sperm) and transferred to the uterus of the gestational surrogate. So the baby is not genetically related to the surrogate. She’s growing and babysitting the baby for 9 months, but has no DNA in the game.
3. Surrogacy isn’t legal everywhere.
It’s hard to believe, but surrogacy is still illegal in some parts of the United States. Each state has its own laws in terms of what is allowed in respect to surrogacy arrangements, such as whether the surrogate can be compensated or not. And let’s not even get started on different countries–we don’t have enough space to go into that! New Mexico is a surrogacy-friendly state, as are many others. If you happen to live in a not-so surrogacy-friendly state (i.e. Michigan, New York, New Jersey), you, as an intended parent, can always match with a surrogate who lives in a surrogacy-friendly state, like New Mexico to make things go a bit smoother.
4. You don’t have to be a “young mother” to be a surrogate.
Often women will say, “I’d love to be a surrogate, but I’m just too old.” The women saying this are usually in their mid- to late-thirties. While it’s true that in order to be an egg donor, most agencies have a max age of 31, surrogacy is different. As long as you have a healthy uterus and pass the medical screenings (and background checks and psychological screenings, etc.), a surrogate can sometimes be approved up to their early 40s. Different clinics have different age requirements for surrogates. As long as you find a good match, age isn’t a huge factor. So don’t rule out surrogacy, you mid- to late-thirty somethings. In fact, many intended parents prefer a surrogate who is a bit older and has achieved some of the stability and wisdom that often comes with time.
5. You will be judged.
This one doesn’t shock you, right? Intended parents, you will be judged. The hurtful questions roll off the tongue without a second thought sometimes: “Why can’t you carry your OWN baby?” “Why didn’t you decide to adopt?” “Surrogacy isn’t natural.”
Gestational carriers, you may be judged as well. But let’s be real–what are people NOT judged for these days? You do YOU. You do what works for your family regardless of what anyone else thinks. Haters are always going to hate, and there’s no time to worry about them.
If you struggle with infertility and are ready to take the next step in growing your family through gestational surrogacy, schedule your free consultation today with New Mexico Surrogacy.
If you want to help a family struggling with infertility and change their lives forever, apply to become a gestational surrogate
Lindsay Jefferson is a Marketing Specialist at New Mexico Surrogacy. She has her MBA and over 14 years experience in marketing. Lindsay has three beautiful children and loves helping people grow their families through gestational surrogacy.
