Things I’d Tell a Younger Me about Homeschooling

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This post is sponsored by CAPE-NM. We at Albuquerque Moms Blog choose to work with businesses we feel bring value to our readers.

Twenty-four years ago, my husband suggested we homeschool. I laughed. He then suggested we just attend a homeschool conference.  I thought it wouldn’t hurt to at least look into it. Well, my youngest child graduated last year. So after 23 years of homeschooling, I’ve put away the lesson plan book. As I look back on my journey, and what a journey it has been, I have a few things I’d tell my younger self if time travel was an option.

homeschool by Albuquerque Moms Blog1. Homeschool doesn’t have to mean public school in my home.

When I started out, I set up my lessons, my day, my expectations along the same lines I did when I set up my classroom as a public-school teacher. It might work well doing that for some students, but just as I found in the classroom setting, all children are not made from the same mold. Letting go of that “one size fits all” was hard for me to do when I started homeschooling. After years of struggling, I realized that I had this awesome opportunity to help each one of my children reach their fullest potential in the areas they were naturally strong in and gently pull them along in the areas they struggled. In order to do that, I had to let go of the graded books. The child who excelled in math could go through 2 books in a year, while my other child who struggled might take 2 years to get through one book. That was OK because this was our homeschool. I had the ability to INDIVIDUALIZE  it for each child as needed.

2. I don’t have to keep up with the Joneses! 

Homeschooling allows freedom to individualize how we do things! If it looked different than my friend’s homeschool, so be it. It was fine if our curriculum was different. It was fine if our schedule was different. It was fine if our outside activities were different. It was fine if our homeschool looked different from every other homeschool out there because it was OURS!  What I needed to learn to do was not just survive the year, but to make the homeschool environment one in which my children would be able to THRIVE.

3. In order for my children to thrive, I needed to stop comparing.

I remember my husband had co-workers who were also homeschooling, and the coffee break conversations would often tend to be a “my child is doing this” or “my child just scored this.” When my husband finally responded with “well, our kids are just average,” the comparisons stopped. Did we truly believe our children were average? No way! But we did need to learn to find the greatness in each of our children and stop comparing their greatness to someone else’s weakness or their weakness to someone else’s greatness.

We needed to step back, see them as individuals uniquely made. Our job was to help them be the best Rebecca or Caleb they could be. As early as 5 years old, I knew that Sarah and Joshua would never go down the same paths as adults. One was extremely creative, while the other loved to be busy fixing things with his hands. I could incorporate these strengths into their homeschool years to better prepare them for life. To do this well, we had to design an individual plan for each child that could easily be tweaked as their short years in our home began to diminish.

4. Their years in our home are short . . . use it wisely.

We live 10 miles from the nearest grocery store and neighbors are scarce.  This meant participating in extracurricular activities was challenging because of the driving time (often a minimum of 30 minutes one way). I thought it was a curse when our children were little because it was hard to get adult time. However, as they grew older, I realized it was a blessing for them. They learned to spend their free time developing talents and were careful in choosing activities that would really suit them well. We only allowed one extracurricular activity per child.

I look at all the options that are out there today, and if a family isn’t careful, they could find themselves gone every evening and all weekend long and possibly in 2 or 3 different directions for each parent and child! Doing that for 12-18 years means there really isn’t much time to focus on relationships, overcoming boredom, and serving others. The years between birth and “world, here I come” are so very short. It seems an eternity some days, and man did I have a lot of those days. But the reality is that the time is truly short with our children. Guarding that time and choosing wisely how best to use it is a challenge for today’s family. One thing I’ve never regretted now that they are all thriving adults is spending more time at home.

homeschool by Albuquerque Moms Blog

Homeschooling has the potential of being as uniquely individual as each of our children.  Take advantage of that opportunity and savor every moment. Take it from me–a mom of four grown children, one son-in-love, and one granddaughter–homeschooling is one of the few things I don’t regret in this season of my life.  I’d do it all over again, in a heartbeat.

About our Guest Blogger

Cathy Heckendorn has been married to her high school sweetheart, John, for 32 years and has two daughters, one son-in-love, two sons, and one granddaughter.  She started in the homeschool movement by kicking and screaming that she “never wanted to do this” and has now graduated all four of her children. When she isn’t helping with ranch chores, she enjoys reading, quilting, encouraging other moms, and spending time with her family. Cathy and John serve on the CAPE NM Board.

CAPE-NM is a non-profit organization established in 1996 by homeschooling families, dedicated to informing, encouraging, and supporting the homeschooling families in New Mexico. They are also dedicated to protecting parents’ rights and believe that the liberty of parents to direct the upbringing and education of their children is a fundamental right. They host several events throughout the year to encourage families, including our annual CAPE Homeschool Convention in June and the Back-to-Homeschool Picnic in August.  

 

1 COMMENT

  1. Cathy, I also homeschooled (rather unschooled) my 4 children. They are all in thier 20s now and loving life and living it (still!) I also wouldn’t change that experience for anything.

    So great to hear of your experience and still love being a resource to other parents who want to give thier kids the gift of using the world as their classroom.

    Thanks!

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