Why My Kids’ Ideas Matter

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Sometimes kids feel like they are invisible, like what they say or think doesn’t matter. I’ve heard my kids mutter under their breath, “No one is listening anyway” or “Nobody cares.” Kids wonder if their ideas matter.

Don’t get me wrong. There are things my children say that were definitely not worth saying. Heck, there’s things I say that aren’t worth saying. Some people just want to talk and be heard . . . even if we have nothing to say.

I think it’s important that kids (and adults) learn to use their words wisely so that they matter when they need to.

I’ve had to tell my kids (one in particular) that if you are always hurt really badly, then eventually people will stop coming to check on you. Hello, “Boy Who Cried Wolf.” I’ve also had to tell my kids that if they speak when others are speaking, then no one is heard.

The reason it’s so important to me to get through all the words is that I think it’s important to value other people’s thoughts and ideas. I think my kids’ ideas matter.

I think that if their ideas can be heard today when they’ve just thought of a new hair style or a new voice for a character, then maybe tomorrow they will have a brilliant idea for how to carpet shampoo the ceilings of cars or keep cup holders clean.

Also, if my kids’ ideas matter today, then hopefully tomorrow they will remember how much they are a loved and valued member of our family. Those are the kinds of feelings that carry one through dark times. Not knowing what my kids will have to face in this life, I aim to help them store up as much love and positivity as is possible.

Here are a few ways my husband and I have managed to show our kids that their ideas matter. I’d love to hear your methods as well!

1. LET THEM TRY IT.

Sometimes I am concerned about how much things cost, or I worry about germs and grossness in general. However, when it comes to my kids, if there’s something they are willing and wanting to try, we let them go for it when possible. Here is my youngest holding a dead fish, getting ready to feed stingrays. Sure, they might get grossed out by slimy textures, or become scared at the last moment, but these are opportunities for growth and learning. So let them try it!

Boy with fish

2. Even better than letting them try it is to LET THEM PLAN IT.

As we prepare for events or trips, we try to take into account what our kids would enjoy and be sure to mix in fun along with whatever else we have to do. As we planned our most recent trip, our eight-year-old daughter became very excited. She researched things to do in the city we were visiting. She planned a few outings for the family. We visited a fantastic hands-on museum (The Franklin Institute), a roller-skating rink (Blue Cross River Rink), and a few other things along the way. She was so proud of herself for being a leader and planner for the events. And we all got to try new things.

Girl with statue of Benjamin Franklin

3. LET THEM BE IT!

Our kids are full of imagination and excitement. Our youngest is especially vibrant, especially when it comes to Super Heroes. He takes on the persona of his favorites at different moments. Perhaps it helps him explain himself or show how he’s feeling. Maybe there aren’t any words.

Sometimes kids just need to BE who they are, or BE in the moment, or BE what they want. Maybe you’ll see a bit of Spider-Man’s helpfulness, or perhaps you’ll see a little of Hulk’s rage. Either way, they’re being who they need to be for that moment.

Boy with Hulk statue

4. LET THEM CHOOSE!

I’m not sure if my kids are picky or if ALL kids are picky. I’ve learned a few coping tricks to help myself deal with their pickiness. I offer choices. If I can find a few choices that all make me happy, then I will let them choose from those choices. When we visited the beach, their choices were long-sleeve, sun shirts and hats or lathering with sunscreen on a schedule. I was fine with either choice, and my kids got to feel comfortable with their own choice.

Kids at the Beach

5. LET THEM OWN IT!

We recently bought a new house. When my husband and I signed one million papers at the title company, our children came along and signed papers too. Their papers said, “I promise to take care of my house by…(they shared their own ideas). I promise to welcome others into my house and use my house to help others.” They drew pictures of what each part of their promise meant to them and signed their names. It was neat to see what their ideas for our house looked like. Their signed papers are included in our documents from the title company, and to me they are just as important. We are a family. Everyone matters. Like a well made chain, we’re only as strong as our weakest link. We aim to make everyone stronger by listening, sharing, and encouraging.

kids signing papers

How do you go about making sure your kids know their ideas matter?