Navigating a new business and a new baby all at once…sounds crazy, right?

My husband started his business three months before my due date. We hadn’t planned to start it at that point, but it was the way it worked out. Then our daughter arrived six weeks early, and we followed her time in the NICU with almost-daily visits to the doctor for weeks. My plans of returning to my own freelance career after six to eight weeks went flying out the window. Meanwhile, I was trying to help my husband build his fledgling business while he helped me navigate life with a new, preemie infant. 

To say that it was a stressful situation would be a gross understatement of the truth. 

Yet, somehow, we made it through that rough first year. And we learned a remarkable amount about communication and how to support each other in parenting and in business. 

How to Navigate a Business and a Baby

In the course of making our way through the first year of  a new business and a new baby, here are five of the most important points we learned:

Communication is the Key

Communication is important in every relationship, but that’s doubly so when a new business and a new baby are involved. Whether it’s you or your partner, when one partner’s time is focused on building a business and the other partner is focused on baby duties and everything else, communication becomes everything. 

Communicate about who’s washing the bottles or pumping apparatus, when you need to nurse and pump, and about scheduled business meetings. Communicate about dinner, grocery shopping, errands, nap times, and when either of you just desperately needs a break. Communicate how you’re feeling and if you need help. Communicate about the smallest thing, because it’s the small things that end up mattering the most. 

Put Yourself in Your Partner’s Shoes 

I spent a lot of time those first few months of a new business and a new baby thinking I was doing the lion’s share of the work in our house and feeling resentful about it. What I didn’t know was that my husband felt the same way. And it came out in a big way. Since then, we’ve learned to try to put ourselves in each other’s shoes.

Sometimes it seems like I’ve been taking care of the baby, taking care of the house and everything that keeps our household running, and fitting work in all the cracks and late nights while he’s “just” working. But I remind myself that my husband has been working all day, too, before helping me feed the baby, putting her to bed, washing the dishes, and then going back to work, too. 

Believe in the Benefit of the Doubt 

My first Mother’s Day was tough. We had no money, a baby who was in the middle of a sleep regression, and we were, as always, stressed. But I was at least hoping for breakfast in bed after the work I’d put in through our crazy year. Unfortunately, the baby didn’t sleep well, my husband didn’t sleep well, and I woke up to find him asleep on the couch and grumpy. Needless to say, I didn’t get the special day I was hoping for, and I was exceedingly hurt. 

It still stings a bit, to be honest. But I know that this slip wasn’t characteristic of my husband. With a new business and a new baby, he was exhausted, overwhelmed, and had the business on his mind. He didn’t mean to forget. And I think, under different circumstances, the day would have been different. Chances are, the same thing is true for you and your partner if a similar problem arises. If something seems uncharacteristic, it probably is. 

Give Each Other Time for Fun 

Yes, this absolutely includes date night, because keeping up that connection between the two of you is extremely important. But it also means giving each other time alone to read a book, get some coffee, or to go out with friends. 

You’re so busy and it’s hard to find any time or money, but finding time for release will help keep you sane, keep you grounded, and give you time to laugh. Stress builds up and up and up until you hit a breaking point. Make sure you both get out and into the real world once in a while to blow off steam before it explodes. 

Give Yourselves a Break 

Give yourself and your partner a break. You’re both doing the best you can. Starting a new business and having a new baby is going to be messy, it’s going to be rough,  you will probably snap at each other and the kids, and will definitely argue. You’re not going to do it perfectly, whatever it may be. The house will probably be the last thing on your mind. You’re not only raising a baby (or two!), but you’re starting a business. 

So, what’s the takeaway? When you’re dealing with a new business and a new baby, keep the five points above in mind: take a breath, take a break, and remind yourself that you and your partner are raising someone exceptional and building the life you want.

Taking on a business and having a baby is something not everyone has the courage to attempt. You’re both doing the best you can and you’re both facing a rough road. But you’re also following your dreams, building your future, and you’re doing it together as a new family!