Life is not a race with others or with yourself. It’s a journey to figuring out who you are and experiencing it with the people you love.
Before my husband and I got married 13 years ago, we did an intensive premarital counseling course. One of the topics that came up was a really practical one–how to deal with money.
I remember specifically our counselor commenting on buying things for our household. He said something along the lines of, “You might be tempted to go out and buy everything you think you need for your house with a credit card, but don’t do it. Buy things as you can pay for them.” You have no idea how thankful I am for that advice.
We were super fortunate in that we had a lot of family give us furniture they no longer wanted/needed. While it wasn’t exactly what we would have picked, it was functional, and we didn’t have to go thousands of dollars in debt to have seating and a place to sleep.
Also, at 22 and in our final semester of college, I don’t think either of us really knew what we liked. In the days before Pinterest, I relied on magazines and friends’ houses to determine my design aesthetic. What I didn’t know then (but wish I had) was how much I’m impacted by color. While I 100% appreciate and enjoy many different design styles, within my own home I have a very specific look I like.
So what does that all have to do with life not being a race? Well, my friend, let me tell you. This last weekend, after 13 years of marriage, I finally got a dining room set that fits my aesthetic. It is similar to my Pinterest board (because I find that when I pin things, I can find recurring themes). And that makes me very, very happy. But it took 13 years to make that happen. Thirteen years to figure out what I liked and a little bit of luck to find the pieces. I found all of the pieces on Craigslist in a few separate listings, but again, it was about having the patience to find what I wanted at a price I could live with.
While our kids may be at a life stage that is hard, remember, life is not a race.
Find what you can enjoy during that season. Just one positive thing to focus on. Even if that one positive thing is just that this season will be over soon.
While we may be tempted to compare our lives, our homes, our friends, our accomplishments with others, remember that life is not a race. We all run at different speeds. We all make different pit stops and take longer breaks.
It’s okay. It’s okay to be where you at. If it’s good, if it’s bad, if it’s indifferent. It’s okay. Be patient. Work toward figuring out who you are and how the pieces all fit together. It took me 8 years to figure out what look I liked in my house and another five to make some changes to that affect. And that’s okay.