This Valentine’s Day week, we have a series of posts dedicated to love, marriage, and sex. This series is brought to you by our partners at A New You Counseling.
Do you remember the good old days of writing love notes?
It’s been a long time since I actually sat down and wrote a love note. I call them love “notes” because very rarely did they get mailed. Usually love notes get delivered in class by your best pal. My love notes were written to perfection which required two or three proofreads. I had to make sure that it included every thought I had.
Eventually writing love notes became a thing of the past. However, little did I know my love notes had a way of showing up again.
This Christmas my husband got a new wallet. Finally! I mean who holds on to a wallet from high school? Apparently my husband does. As soon as he could, he immediately started emptying his old wallet. In his wallet, he had credit cards, money, and an endless supply of old rewards cards.
But my focus wasn’t on the old “Borders” card that went out of business years ago. My focus was on the notebook paper that he had tucked away. Apparently my husband was still holding onto my old love notes.
Now, I can’t say I hadn’t noticed the notes before because I had. I just never really took the time to look at them. I always focused on the idea of how sweet and sentimental it was for my husband to carry them in his wallet.
If you don’t already know, my husband and I are high school sweethearts. Since the beginning of our relationship, our chemistry always seemed undeniable. We dated briefly in ninth grade, but spent the majority of our high school days just being “friends.” But looking back at these love notes, I can see we have always been more than just friends.
These love notes showed a side of love that I haven’t felt in a very long time. A time where we desired the superficial love. I think in a few of my letters I mentioned how gorgeous my husband’s eyes were. I mean that was my absolute favorite part of him. Isn’t that exactly what young love was…physical attraction. I know for a fact that my idea of love back then is completely different from now. If my husband didn’t tuck away my love notes in his wallet, I would’ve forgotten what it was like to be young and in love.
This year my husband and I will have been married for nine years. We have, of course, been together longer than that. But our love for each other has changed. It’s no longer high school puppy love. It’s deep marriage love. The kind that takes a lot of patience and understanding. The kind of love that requires more than an apologetic kiss or a stuffed bear of some kind.
Marriage is about communication through the miscommunication, supporting each other through unforeseeable circumstances while still trying to be the best parents. My teenage perception of love is no match to this soon to be thirty years old perception.
It’s amazing to me how pieces of notebook paper can make you appreciate the time and work that went into a relationship. It helps you reflect on the bad times as a learning experience. While reminiscing the good times as an enjoyable memory, I don’t know if I’ll ever sit down and write another love note. But if I do, I hope it ends up in my husband’s wallet.
So tell me, does your significant other carry a memento? Or is it you that has a stored box of reminders? Let me know and let’s share our love notes.
P.S I also got good at origami. Did you have a favorite note folding technique?
Did you know that the basic building blocks needed to develop a successful relationship come from understanding what is needed, what is working, and what is broken in your couple’s toolbox? The great news is that having a stronger relationship is something that can be taught! A New You Counseling is here to help.
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