Celebrating Father’s Day with Memories and the Sunday Paper

“I’m celebrating Father’s Day with memories this year.” Admittedly, it’s a strange statement. But celebrating Father’s Day hasn’t been a tradition for me for a long time. My father passed away when I was 10, and I was always grateful that it fell after the end of the school year. It meant I didn’t have to suffer through any Father’s Day celebrations. For a long time, I didn’t even know what day of the year it was.

Now that we have a daughter, we do celebrate. But I have still shied away from celebrating Father’s Day for my father. This isn’t to say that I don’t celebrate and remember him in other ways. But celebrating a day you’re supposed to spend with your father without him has been too painful for me, even 20-something years later. 

Having a Daughter Changed That

But now, my daughter is beginning to notice my dad’s picture on our family photo wall. And as much as it hurts, I want her to know what an incredible grandfather she would have had and what an incredible man he was; how bright he was; how hard he worked to be there for us even though he worked long hours. He was funny, and he was kind, and he brought home science kits to share with us (he was a scientist). Reffing our soccer games and taking horseback riding lessons with me brought him such joy. He attended our dance recitals and wore math nerd shirts before it was “cool” to do so. 

Every Sunday, he and I would read the jokes section of the paper while classical music played on the speakers, first on records and then on CDs. The morning would peak when he threw couch pillows at us as we screamed with laughter while trying to avoid them. He passed on his passion for music on to us, his scrambled eggs were the best, and I always felt safe walking next to him with my small hand in his large one. And he loved my mom more than anything. Their partnership served as my model as I looked for my partner in life.  

Celebrating Father’s Day with Memories and the Sunday Paper

I know he would have been an incredible grandfather, and I wish more than anything he could be a part of our daughter’s life. I wish more than anything he was a part of my life. But, at least, I can make him a part of her life in some way. I want him to be more than a picture to her. 

So, this Father’s Day, I think we’ll watch some of the videos my parents took when my sister and I were small (and for which I am so grateful). I’ll start telling her some stories and make her his scrambled eggs. And then she and I can read the jokes in the Sunday paper.