Are You Tired, Mom? Here’s What to Do Instead of Self-Care

I haven’t shaved my legs in three weeks. Yep, it’s winter and I’m hibernating. I know it’s not that big of a deal. But when I changed out of my “around the house leggings” to my slightly less comfortable, but much nicer “going out leggings,” I definitely noticed my forgotten legs.

Yeah, I should probably shave soon . . . at least up to my knees, or maybe just my ankles and toes? Don’t even get me started on how I need to pluck my eyebrows. Honestly, with two toddlers and a baby, where do I find the time?

I guess you could say I’m feeling very “blah.” Maybe it’s the holiday letdown, sickness spreading like wildfire, yucky weather, shorter days, or all of the above. But some days I feel myself slowly surrendering to winter’s heavy blanket. I wish it were a soft, cozy blanket. But honestly, it feels more like an old, itchy blanket you only bring out when your kid pukes on all the good ones.

I know all the things that will help me power through this season of “blah”: sunlight (even if it’s freezing and windy), exercise, water, good sleep, vitamins, etc. I try my best at self-care during winter. But sometimes self-care and #treatyourself just don’t cut it. After the treats are gone and the glow of the holidays fades, I find myself in a major funk. Is a winter-life crisis a thing? It totally should be.

I Need a Real Break

Since dealing with my winter-life crisis once again this year, I finally got some clarity. I desperately need a real break. Not a date night, not a girl’s night, or even a spa day. (Although I’d love a massage and a hot soak right about now.)

I think my winter-life crisis is a cry for help from all of me that is so very tired–my heart. My heart is longing to recover the little pieces of myself that I’ve given out all year long, especially with the celebrations and holidays at the end of the year.

The pieces have not been chipped away; rather they have been given freely with a smile (and sometimes a tired sigh.) But I need some of those pieces back. I really do love my life and I love my people. I just need major rest. My soul needs rest. My mind needs rest. And my body desperately needs rest, a long winter’s rest.

When my soul finds rest, I feel all the little pieces reassemble. Like a Rubik cube solved in record time, the pieces click, and I’m put back together again. When my mind is truly resting, creativity blooms. When my body is at rest . . . well, I forget to shave my legs. Some days I sit underneath the heavy winter blanket and binge The Office for the millionth time. But Michael Scott’s hilarious hi-jinks can only bring so much joy.

Here’s Your Permission To Rest

I think it’s time for some real rest, maybe even a little renewal. And if you’re anything like me, sometimes you need a mental permission slip to sit down and sip your coffee. So here it is! You have my full permission to rest. But how do you really rest when you can’t remember the last time you slept through the night? Start with your soul, then your mind, and then your body.

Soul

What ignites your soul? Is it reading a good book? What about making something with your hands? How about painting, dancing, or singing? If you’re not sure, try something new. Get out of your routine. Ignite that spark in your soul. Even if it means investing some time and money into the process. You are worth it. I started taking an adult ballet class at the studio where my daughter dances. I haven’t done a plié in 25 years. My soul felt refreshed after the first session in spandex.

Mind

Give your mind a break by slowing down and saying no. Do you need to cancel a commitment? Is there something you need that will make your daily life easier? I sat down with my husband and wrote out our weekly schedule.  Tell your partner what you need. I need my guy to make me coffee every single Friday. When he brews the coffee, it makes me happy and gives me a chance to sleep in a little. It’s on our schedule now and it’s awesome. Scheduling the small stuff makes a huge difference. Maybe there’s something else you need from your partner. It could be small or big, but don’t forget to communicate those needs.

Body

Give your body time to rest. What can you do, or stop doing today to give your body the rest and renewal it really needs? Take a break from the gym, give yourself an early bedtime, or get your groceries delivered to your doorstep. I do all of these things. During seasons of stress and overwhelm, look for opportunities to adjust your daily life and decrease the physical demands of motherhood. As a mom of three kids under five, I am all for afternoon movies with a side of popcorn. Because sometimes you really need to lie down.

Are you feeling tired, mom? Remember, you have full permission to rest. Yes, those “blah” feelings are your body’s way of telling you it needs some renewal for your mind, soul, and physical body. It’s time to recover all those little pieces of yourself you’ve lost along the way. And just remember, warmer days are right around the corner.

Originally published February 2020.

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The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of ABQ Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.