Something hit me a couple weeks ago as I was lying in bed thinking about my day before I went to sleep. I was focusing on only the bad things that I had done or had happened. Like how many times my daughter cried. Or how often I got frustrated and had to take a moment to regroup. Or how I had raised my voice as I told her “no” for the tenth time. I also realized I was saying “no” a lot the past couple days.
We often talk about mom-shaming between people, but what about when we do it to ourselves?
Why was I focused on the not-so-great parts of the day instead of the fun times? Being this way was definitely impacting my attitude the following day. And I was pretty sure that led to all the “nos” and frustration on my part.
I decided to make a conscious effort to do better and focus on the good things. To remind myself that my daughter is just trying to learn and wants to do all kinds of things for herself. She needs guidance, not obstruction. When looking back on the day, I needed to remember the times we made each other laugh, and how proud she was when she climbed onto her rocking horse all by herself. These were the things that mattered.
So instead of saying, “No,” I tried offering an alternative as often as possible. I reminded myself to let her take her time as she tried to do things for herself. You know what? It helped. Yeah, there are some days where I’m counting down the hours until bedtime, but we all have those days. For the most part though at the end of the day I go to sleep on a positive note, excited to see what will happen tomorrow.
So hang in there, Moms and Dads. No more shaming. Try to look at the good things and learn from the not so great. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re doing great!