Dear Old Dad :: Memories Made, Lessons Learned

Dear Old Dad

My dad was a good man. He always wanted the best for his family. He was a hard worker- an immigrant from Sicily. Moving from the Big Apple at the young age of 25, he taught himself to read and write English. Dad honed his craft as an iron worker. He eventually owned his business and moved it to New Mexico. He came to Rio Rancho in 1975 when there was hardly any business or even customers. The small rural town was filled with tumbleweeds and coyotes, but no real economy.

This never stopped my father. He had faith in his dreams and trusted his instinct. He taught me to believe in yourself no matter how down on your luck you may be. He would say,” One day this will grow into a big city.” He was right. Rio Rancho is now close to 90,000 residents. Gradually the city and his customers grew.

Family Man

My dad was generous. If you broke bread with him, he would always foot the bill. If you called him on his generosity, he would simply say, “It’s only money.” He knew there was a whole lot more to life. He came from a large family. When he visited his siblings, there was always a little quarrel or riff between one or two of them. And He would relentlessly call each of them, forcing them to make amends. He was a peacemaker. Usually his peacemaking ceremony revolved around a large family meal to hash out any problems. He taught me the importance of eating together as a family. He enjoyed a big dish of spaghetti like any good Italian, but also loved feeding everyone too! Eating together was expression of love. You could never get away with a small serving at our table.

What Dad Taught Me

I never heard him say,” I can’t do this,” or “That’s too hard.” He always had a smile when he saw me. And usually a song, too.

Dad taught me to be passionate. He loved singing, being with his family, and playing cards! He taught me to be strong. Dad didn’t like when I cried and would tell me,”Only babies cry.” So now when Father’s Day or Christmas rolls around and I can’t stand the thought of him being gone, I tell myself,”only babies cry.” It keeps my eyes from raining down the river of tears I want to release for him. Instead I breathe and remember his voice, “only babies cry.” I tell myself to be strong, be thankful for him, and live like he did. I want to live with passion, generosity, and kindness.

The most important lesson he taught me about parenting was how to love. I want to love my kids just the way he loved me.