Everyone loves a new baby. I get it. I had my second in November. And I don’t ever want to put him down–which is good because he insists on being held 24/7 anyway, especially if I want him to sleep. However, when you are visiting or meeting a new baby there are a few etiquette rules that need to be established.
You are not entitled to hold the baby.
If mama is okay with it, by all means go for it. Her arms could use a rest and she might need to shower or pee or eat or something like that. But she is in no way obligated to give you the baby to hold, no matter who you are. So don’t say, “Let me hold him” or “I’m taking him.” You may ask, but you have no rights.
Baby does not need you to pet him, especially on the head.
I’m really not even sure why this needs to be said. If you are just really compelled to touch for some reason, go for a foot. But really, you don’t NEED to pet the baby.
“Is she a good baby?” “How does he sleep?” “I did such and such and such with my kids.” None of this please. Yes, she’s a good baby. All babies are good. Babies don’t sleep, that’s just a baby thing. And unless mom asks for advice, she doesn’t need to know what you did. You and your kids are not her and her kids.
Be helpful in some way.
Whether it’s bringing food, coffee or wine, cleaning something, entertaining a melting down and bored toddler, or just saying you are doing a great job, be helpful. You aren’t there to be entertained. And you sure better not leave a mess.
Don’t play the “who does he look like” game. Of course he looks like one of us. And what do you even say to this? Thank you? Yes?
Babies are so sweet, special, and hard to resist, so visit and love away. But remember, they’re so little, and their mama is a new mama no matter how many babies she has. She’s exhausted, in love, and adjusting to a new way of life, so be helpful and mindful of all of this!
The credit for these photos goes to beautiful and talented lady of Cameron Storie Photography.
Originally published July 2019.
