That’s right! I am (finally) pregnant and will leave behind #aspiringmom in July for #actualmom! It was the longest four months of my life and while I know that is less than a drop in the bucket for some, it felt like it was never going to happen for us. After I started my third cycle, post-IUD removal, I seriously began to wonder if we had fertility issues. It’s amazing how unreasonable and impatient you can be when you want something. The first trimester is over and looking back, I realize how many expectations I had that were totally shattered.
What the First Trimester was NOT:
- Filled with a physical sensation of being pregnant or connection to my baby. The beginning of pregnancy is very conceptual. Other than giant boobs and 24-7 nausea, there’s nothing to indicate you’re pregnant. I had a hard time grappling with this as I expected to feel pregnant with this 6th sense or maternal awareness that never happened. Now that I’m starting to show and I can feel Baby T in there (like a goldfish swishing around a giant water balloon in my abdomen) it’s much more real.
- Fun. It was exciting and surreal but it wasn’t very fun. Because I didn’t feel pregnant, it was hard to really stay focused on being pregnant. I did tons of Pinterest research, which is always exciting, but I didn’t go out and buy baby things like I expected. Also, I was queasy ALL. THE. TIME. and that is not fun.
- It didn’t meet my expectations. I’ve always been healthy and energetic. I got in super-great shape right before we started trying so my body would be primed to create a super-baby. I got pregnant and to the day of week 4, started with the nausea and intense fatigue. The first 8 weeks after finding out, I ate carbs, mac-n-cheese, and ginger ale only (or so it seemed). The only remotely healthy thing I ingested were protein smoothies with frozen berries and spinach. I was too sick in the mornings to work-out, and generally felt like all my planning and preparation went down the drain. I expected to stay on track with my workouts and eat super-healthy all the way through. Ha!!
What the First Trimester did for me:
- My first trimester taught me, more than any other time in my life, to have grace for myself. I’ve always been very concerned with our house being tidy (tidy house = a tidy mind) but I was too tired to even try. Getting home from work/school, I sat on the sofa until it was time to shower and get in bed. I felt so pathetic and pitiful–it was the only reason I ever cried/had meltdowns. Some days I just felt overwhelmed by how pathetic I felt. My husband was so great to hold me while I cried and remind me that I was growing our baby and the house could wait and healthy eating could wait. He was right and it’s a good starter course for having a baby. Things may not be as organized and tidy post-baby as they were pre- but I’m learning to be okay with that and create a new standard for my life. Thank The Lord for silver linings!
The second trimester has been great. It’s so fun to feel Baby and I’m back on track with my diet and workouts. I’m generally feeling like myself again (myself with much more front heaviness). Stay tuned for all the details about being a first time pregnant lady in Albuquerque and PLEASE share your best second trimester advice!!