The road through motherhood is not always clear or bright. It can be fraught with woes and quite lonely, despite the constant proximity of little ones—or so I’ve heard. But the road to motherhood, the on-ramp from childless lady to mommy can also be lonely. And it’s foggy. Visibility is low and you sort of creep along, unsure when and where to merge. An aspiring mom may not be dealing with the same stresses and lack of sleep as an all-ready-there mom but it comes with its own stress.
I am not a mom. I am an aspiring mom, thrilled to begin down the road to motherhood. Also, I’m scared. Maybe terrified. So, so, so excited. And afraid. My contribution, the reason I’m here is for the the soon-to-be and pre-pregnant, the scheduling-to-get-your-IUD-out and Pinterest-board-filled-with-10-minute-meals-rich-in-folic-acid.
I am planning to get pregnant for the first time this year.
This is a really exciting season for me and my husband J. It’s also really mysterious and nerve-wracking. While we have lots of friends with kids, they’re older than us, older enough that when they were going through this season we weren’t paying attention. We were newlyweds. We were settling into marriage and life on our own. I love their kids and I was so excited every time my friends announced pregnancies but I wasn’t taking notes. Now I wish I had. Now I feel like I’m on my own.
I have a great support system of family, friends, and people I can call for advice when I’m in the mom club. But right now, the pre-mom club has 1 active member and it’s daunting. It’s easy for people to share in your excitement when you actually have something to show for it (a positive test, morning sickness, a baby, stretchy pants, etc.) but when you’re in the “pre” phase it’s a little harder to relate.
How much is having a baby going to cost? At which hospital should I deliver? Doctor, nurse, midwife, doula, or all of the above? How should I handle work?
I talked to a friend about midwives—she loved hers! I looked her up. She isn’t practicing anymore. Inflation, changes in insurance premiums and hospital costs have all occurred over the last 4.5 years. Logistically, I’m on my own.
Enter, Google, right?! You can Google anything and get amazing results—more information than you possibly knew you needed! I Googled “cost to have a baby Albuquerque,” “best hospital to deliver Albuquerque,” etc. and the results weren’t helpful—mostly sponsored advertisements and web pages for hospitals. No personal experiences or anecdotes, no infographics or pros and cons lists. Nothing I can use to clarify the murky waters that lay ahead.
So this will be one of those trail-blazing, do-it-yourself, leadership moments. I’m fortunate Albuquerque Mom’s Blog is giving me a platform to share what I learn so at least when I’m tired and frustrated, confused and frazzled, I’ll know it’s for the greater good and maybe someone down the road will feel like they’ve got an Aspiring Mom GPS to help them out.
Some of the questions I have and answers I’ll seek:
Which hospital offers what? What are the pros and cons for each of the main hospitals in Albuquerque?
What’s the difference between seeing a Nurse Midwife and OB/Gyn and how will it affect my birth planning and delivery?
How much is having Baby Torres going to cost? (Concrete costs for prenatal care and delivery, not abstract costs.)
What am I going to do about work?
What will pregnancy do to life as a full-time + part-time employee, grad student, wife, etc.?
I hope my posts will provide the resources you need as an aspiring mom in Albuquerque and let you know being an aspiring mom is a big deal to more than just you. If you’re reading this and planning to get pregnant in the next year or so—Congratulations! If you’re nervous, excited, lying awake at night thinking about Baby, and spending countless hours on Pinterest searching for “____ theme nursery ideas”—welcome to the club, the Aspiring Mom’s Club, we now have more than 1 member!