It’s hard not to have a lot of preconceived ideas and expectations for being pregnant, delivering a baby, and raising said baby when you’re a new mom. In my mind I know there will be a million things I can’t anticipate and won’t go the way I imagine. But in my heart I’m basically convinced things will go pretty close to my new mom expectations.
*Cue all the mothers laughing heartily at my naiveté and remembering their own wildly inaccurate new mom expectations with nostalgia.*
I’m almost done being pregnant, so I already know how it met with my expectations. And so far, things have gone pretty much as anticipated. Granted, I didn’t get pregnant immediately, and I never realized you could be as tired as I felt in the first trimester without being dead. But otherwise, it’s been fairly smooth sailing.
This is yet to be experienced, so all I have is my imagination (and I’m a fiction writer so it’s good). Here’s what I’m thinking….
I’ll begin labor around 5 am, my usual wake up time, and spend a few hours tidying up the house, taking a shower, doing my hair, choosing the perfect “having a baby outfit,” and eating a light but protein packed breakfast.
Around 9 or 10 I’ll take my dog Marble for a short walk. Then we’ll head into Albuquerque, dropping Marble off at our friend’s. We’ll probably want to stop somewhere and eat lunch before being admitted. So we’ll do that.
I won’t have to be in triage for long as I’ll have timed things perfectly and will be just starting active labor when we arrive. We are having a hypnobirth, so I’ll maintain total relaxation during contractions and be my normal self in-between. I’ll have the baby around 3 pm and spend a couple of blissful new mom hours with just my husband and new baby. We’ll move to the Mother-Baby Unit in time for our family to bring dinner and meet the baby. Jared, Baby, and I will sleep extremely well through the night.
Sounds reasonable to me!
Having a Newborn:
I’m sure my baby will be a dream. He/She will sleep soundly in accordance with the Baby Wise sleep training we’ll implement. And baby will breastfeed like a champ. I’ll easily adjust to the routine of increased laundry and constant breastfeeding, nap when the baby naps, and will have time to shower each day. I know I’ll be tired, and my breasts will be sore in the beginning–every new mom experiences that! The baby will cry, but I’ll be able to soothe it. I may feel overwhelmed at times, but I’m confident I’ll be able to adjust and will never have trouble asking for help.
Seems probable, right?!
If I’m being honest with myself and others, these are my expectations. I’m not an idiot. I know things will happen that aren’t ideal and won’t meet with my lovely vision. But that’s why I’ve been doing my birth affirmations and preparing to be flexible.
Don’t all new moms have similar expectations? Having a baby is like getting married. We ALL plan for and expect the best, otherwise, why do it?
I think it’s part of the rite-of-passage for new moms to create these pictures of Pinterest-worthy idealization. We’ve scrolled through and pinned a million pins to our Baby Board, ensuring we eat all the right foods and do those special prenatal yoga poses that will keep our booties firm and help our pelvic floor recover quickly. Before becoming a new mom, you’d never seen so many scrolly-script affirmations printed over soothing, happy watercolors, and now you’ve pinned them all. Our hospital bag is packed with all the essentials and nothing more. The diaper bag is organized and ready to go. You’ve done it all up to now. Prepared in every way. Organized down to the last drawer and woven basket.